Don't depend on others to be happy

Once upon a time, long time ago... i was in a situation where i get extremely happy when someone pays me a compliment and to that same degree, i get extremely sad when someone judges me and tells me something less postitive about myself.

This is called being insecure.

I was dependent on what others thought of me.

Because of that, i wanted the approval and recognition of others. I relied on what people say to give me "happiness" and in so doing i lived my life thinking how people will look at me, say about me etc...

I became really exhausted trying to live my life as though i had to please everyone.

That was not living at all, cause all i had in me is merely one goal - to please.

The light bulb came on for me one day 2,000 years agao, that i AM actually playing the lead characterof my OWN life.

So i should be LEADING my life, MY way.

Who cares what people say or think?

Are they that significant or important in your life?

Usually, people who only have bad things to say are somehow unimportant people who usually talk bad about everything under the sun and 2 days later, they would have forgotten all about you and moved on talking about someone else.

These are what you call worthless opinions.

You cannot control what someone says, but you can control how you think.

You do have a choice.

1. To choose to brood over it and be upset; OR
2. To choose ignore the negatives and to believe in yourself; OR
3. To choose to assess that opinion/action, take whatever valid in it and change for the better

Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, but the reality is, no one is subject to everyone's opinion.

Being hurt, upset, angry, disasppointed is all but a choice... Your emotions are not "enforced" on you. They are all part of you and can be managed and controlled by you.

Once upon a time, someone told me something so profound that i still remember it till today...

He said
"You sometimes react as if you have no control over your emotions and let what you can control, control you."

This really changed my mindset about my bad temper.

I hate it when i have no control over myself when i obviously knew i had.

Why did i have to let something control me when i have the power to control it in the first place?

So whenever you feel angry at someone for making you upset...

Think first.

Was it he/she who made you upset? Or is it just you choosing to get upset?

At the end of the day - you are uniquely you and nobody else can be EXACTLY like you.

You are the only barrier to being happy... because there is always a choice.

Whenever you are in a situation where "so-and-so did this/did not do this, so i am upset!" just remember that you have a choice. If so-and-so wants to and chooses to do what he/she does... let them be. You can choose not to be affected by them cause you are the lead performer on your own stage called "life".

Insecure women tend to fall prey to men who sweet-talk because they "feed" on those "sweet-talk" and like hearing them. Once they stop receiving those "sweet talk", they do all they can to "earn" it and usually, it has diastrous endings!

(Next time you hear someone "sweet-talking" you; Think. Did you take it seriously? Were you overjoyed with it? If you are, then could it be that you are tipping over soon?)

On the same note, "sweet-talkers" are you doing it to gain approval as well. Because one only starts "sweet-talking" when they want to please another... It displays nothing but insecurity and insincerity...

So, don't depend on others to be happy. Just be happy. Truly.

You are what you think you are

It has always been my interest to write about things i observe around me... and yet, beacuse all my thoughts are random yet organised; extreme yet connected... i can't decide how and where to pen these thoughts. Usually, ,they end up in my secret diary. But i will pen a bit of these private thoughts here. Just beacause.

First thing on my mind goes out to the women. Nope, i am not a feminist.

Why women?

Because i have met so many women out there who deserves more than their current situation. Problem is: They dont know.

I hope i would be able to help them in my own way - to help them stop "sabo-ing" themselves.

Women who think less about themselves don't even know they are doing that.

How do you tell? Simply look at your own life so far and rate it on a scale of 1 to 10.  I call this the happy index.

If you are truly happy at the score you have given your current life status, then you are fine. But if you are not, then there is something you need to change to increase your "happy index"....

WOMAN - be a woman, don't try to be a man.

If the guys wish to open the doors for you, let them.
If they wish to pay for dinner, let them.
If they wish to send you home, let them.
Even if you can do the above-mentioned on your own, just let them.

Of course, i am not suggesting you to take advantage of the men and "earn a free meal" all the time... no no no. But somehow, i believe these small gestures are their way to show that they value us women

By allowing them to do that, we actually "permit" them to feel like a man. Men sometimes need that ego boost. :)

In actual truth, women are created to support and be the help-meet to men and they in return are created to protect, care and cherish women...

On the other hand, if you are a money-grabbing, single-minded woman who is just out to get free meals and rides, you will ultimately find out that man are not stupid and can tell the difference.

When you have been "getting too much free meals" you will soon stop getting invited. You probably have either consciouly or sub-consciously been taking advantage of the situations and people have began to realise it.

Regardless of what/how you think about yourself, you ARE actually what you think you are.

The logic is simple.

When you think about yourself in a certain way, you expect to be treated in a certain way.
When you expect to be treated in a certain way, you start behaving just like the way you expect you will be treated even before you are being treated that way.
Simple?

So here is the story: 

An old man who sells hotdogs by the road has been faithfully doing his job for the past 20 years. 

He buys the same number of hotdogs and sells the same number day-in-day-out. 

One day, his son said to him that the nation is "expecting" a crisis and that he should start to expect less people buying hotdogs... 

He thought about it and believed that business will drop. 

So, he ordered less and naturally, he sold less... 

Think again...

Did he sell less hotdogs because of the circumstances? 

Or did he sell less hotdogs because he created circumstances? 

You are what you think you are.

If you think little of yourself, you will manifest to be "little"...

On the contrary, if you think much of yourself, you will manifest to be "much"...