My Bump and I - 32 weeks Maternity Shoot

Photo Credit:

Joshua Cheok

Instagram: @j.osh

E-mail: joshua.cheok@gmail.com

From a pea to the great bump-kin!

Let the COUNT DOWN begin!

9 months has passed and the waiting game has officially begun...

To say that the past 9 months flew by in a glance is not quite accurate - with all the little milestones we've accomplished and counted down to.

But to say that it's been a long wait is also as inaccurate - cos it's amazing how little en en grew from the size of a pea to somewhat a water melon? (maybe even bigger & heavier!), all in merely 9 short months - this is a little human, a fully functioning one with all those tiny organs in her!

Praise God - This journey so far has been a really awesome one! 

Dedicated to my little en-en - a re-cap of what mama did while I'm carrying you:

AT 18 WEEKS

We've officially cleared the 1st trimester mark - clearing the 1st trimester is an extremely crucial milestone for mama, and Yi-Yi decided that we all went on a family vacation - as a form of farewell to my freedom before you arrived!

Even though Bangkok IS a shopping paradise for women - I hardly bought myself anything - afterall, I wouldn't be able to fit into them soon!

Instead, we started buying things for you. At this point, I still have no idea what gender you were. So everything was neutral - green, yellow and animal-theme. Therefore you'd see blue elephants and pink lions. They are all part of the "neutral" theme.

If I knew I was having a girl - I think that's it! I would have OVER-bought!

AT 23 WEEKS

Long before we discovered you, we have already bought the tickets to Hillsong 2015 in Sydney - and therefore, your spontaneous mama and papa decided to just go with the flow.

This was taken at Sydney Chinatown. 

Did you know that carrying you in my belly didn't restrict me from any form of singing and dancing in church. I hope you will also enjoy singing and dancing when you arrive! 

We wanted you to be friends with animals, hence we took you to the Sydney zoo! 

But, that was not all - you were definitely athletic, hence we took you for a trail at Blue Mountains.

We started off with the intention to take a short and easy trail, but we got lost and ended up going for a rather long trail - you see, you definitely had that never-say-die attitude and endurance!

I wonder if you will grow up to love riding on a swing, just like I do?

We took it 1 step further and actually climbed the 3-sisters bridge for a scenic view!

Those steps were steep and many, but that's why people say that being a mother makes one stronger.

Of course, we had to buy you more clothes! This time, we already knew that you are little darling girl - and have already started calling you en-en.

AT 25 WEEKS

Mama was given the opportunity to fly to Hong Kong for a work trip. 

In fact, that day was 14th July - it was my birthday and I was pretty reluctant to fly, but you gave me that strength.

Feeling slightly down to be flying on my own for work on my special day, God knew better and sent me a surprise via Singapore Airlines...

I was almost touched to tears.  

AT 30 WEEKS

We officially made it past the 2nd trimester. And you grew significantly bigger! 

AT 31 WEEKS

Mama had to conduct a make-up demonstration for work. 

Being in the 3rd trimester by now, I was getting heavier and more easily exhausted, but knowing that I am going to be a mother to a beautiful baby girl gave me some extraordinary strength because I felt totally energetic whilst conducting the workshop!

AT 32 WEEKS

In this time and age - we are really lucky because we get a chance to take pictures of ourselves with our big bellies to keep as a memory (very unlike the days when our parents had us). So, you know this was how mama looked when you were still in my belly!

AT 38 WEEKS

Finally, the day I have been waiting for arrived - my last day at work before the start of my maternity leave!

I can leave work alone and focus on getting ready to embrace you in my arms - alas!

A simple baby-shower... Will this week be the week you arrive?

Mama can't wait to meet you in person, to embrace you and sing to you. My little en-en, I love you right from day 1 and I can finally see you soon! 

Mama is ready for your arrival!

And this beautiful baby journey continues...

"The seed will grow well, the vine will yield its fruit, the ground will produce its crops, and the heavens will drop their dew." 

Zechariah 8:12

We're a little beyond halfway there, its been an amazing journey so far and it's only gonna get better because every good gift is from the Father, and does not change like shifting shadows.

Praise God for His divine protection. Truly, Your promises are never-failing and Your gifts are irrevocable.

My precious little one, 

  

Every morning, I wake up with a smile across my face simply because you exist.

Your presence has changed my life in so many ways that I don't even know where to start.

I eat differently, walk differently, talk differently, and even think differently.

You probably don't comprehend your own existence, and how dear you are to mama and papa and you probably won't recall how you were at this stage because you are barely the size of a little pumpkin weighing a few hundred grams, but you are a little human with a strong heart that beats with such vigor and I can already picture what a beautiful baby you will be.

You have tiny fingers, arms, toes, legs and all the other organs that an adult possess. And they shall continue to develop, just as God has planned for them to be!

When you see these pictures, you will realize what energy and vibrancy you possess - Flipping over with every snap of the ultra sound "camera" like you wanted to greet me with your enthusiasm.

I have been waiting for what seems like a long, long time to feel your tiny movements and for your ears to be developed enough so that you could hear mama and papa call your name and sing you songs.

I thought I was being too over-sensitive at first when I felt a slight rumbling/fluttering sensation in my tummy and I couldn't make out if I was just hungry or otherwise... but when your little movements got stronger and more precise, I realized you are soooo very REAL...

It does sound silly to say this because YOU ARE REAL - You already are a human at this point, and from months ago! But this is exactly what makes me feel so magical about carrying you in my body and everyday, I thank God that you are so wonderfully made and developing in my womb.

How can there be a better explanation for a human to be making another human in her body, apart from the truth that God has created this reproduction cycle and plan? And yet, each and every single one of us are made so differently, so uniquely and so individually with our own set of personality and character, just like how no 2 thumbprints in the world are the same.

Mama and papa continues to pray for your healthy growth and development and we anticipate the day we finally get to embrace you in our arms and hold your tiny hands.

Hang in tight little one. And know that both mama and papa love you so much, even before we meet you.

Love,

Mama & Papa

A new chapter of life...

A post dedicated to my lovely family - the Cheoklets -  because I wanna share my joy with you guys in the most real way possible!
 

 

It's been 3 months and finally, I am breaking my silence to say 

"I AM PREGNANT!"

I haven't been able to say this 3 simple words easily.

Each time I am tempted to say it, I fear I might not be the next day - it is a complex feeling of wanting to share my excitement and yet having such a phobia because I know how fragile life is at this stage - there is really nothing you can do but to trust in God's protection and deliverance - especially for me, when I lost my first in 2010.

Year after year, relatives ask about when we were gonna have a baby and my reply changed from "not ready yet" to "coming soon" but the wait was way toooooo long.... 

It's been 8 years and people were sensitive enough to not ask anymore. 

Maybe it wasn't a matter of wanting/not wanting a baby, but a matter of not being able to have one?

I've seen the chinese doctor to get my body more synced up by taking herbal remedies everyday for a good number of months, and we have plotted our dates (as much as we know how to) so we can do the baby-dance right, we even learned the term "carpet-bombing", but nothing worked out and the stress is very real. I even wondered that perhaps being a mother is not the plan for my life.

It made me cry on sleepless nights and nothing can comfort me except the word of God.

"For I know the thought that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you future and hope."
Jeremiah 29:11

In fact this time round, we weren't even expecting to be expecting. The longest wait for us (and I think many other couples), was when we "expected" to be expecting. That 2 - 3 weeks after the week of ovulation was the longest wait - waiting to test positive on the pregnancy kit (or not).

And particularly for this month, since we weren't exactly active in our baby-dance, nor did we have the energy - he was exhausted with work, fell sick, and I was stressed out that we were not gonna have a baby this year (again) - I expected my period to come on time (as it usually did). 

We even had a serious discussion and decided to get our bodies examined next month, to get professional help. If it was going to cost a bomb that's just too bad, we are in a desperate situation, was there really a choice?

We only made ONE attempt this month and it was not even measured to accuracy. But I remembered my conversation with God:

"God, if this is your will, even if we only have 1 attempt; even if it is not the ovulation period, and I have no other medical enhancements to help, Lord, I believe You can restore us and grant us a beautiful baby, a champion baby, I put all these in Your hands and I believe in Jesus name, amen!"

And, my period didn't come. After missing it for 1 week, I took the test half-expecting that I could just be stressed out and not pregnant.

I got a clear positive on a cheap pregnancy test kit.

I was excited, but also half wondering if this test kit is inaccurate since it is cheap?

Without any creative ideas to disclose this information to my unsuspecting husband, I just ran to him and said, "erm, I am pregnant!" and because he was unsuspecting, he was at a loss for reaction and all he was able to do then, was to flash a 60-second long smile, from 1 ear to another.

Though not dramatic, I know with my heart, that was a very real & genuine expression for him. I cannot imagine myself being stunned and smiling for 30 seconds without jumping up and down!

I sent this image to 2 important people in my life. 

The first, my own sister, and the second, my best friend, who is my God-given sister. :)

Even though I can hardly contain my excitement, I had to! Until I've seen a doctor, at least. 

You know how people say you become quite scatter-brain once you become pregnant?

I hate to agree, but for the record, I DID LOSE my very precious engagement ring the very next day! 

Of course no one on FB knows that it's because I became a pregnant-scatter-brain. Everyone felt pity that I lost something so precious.

But only I know - what I have in me is even more precious than that ring I've lost. So even though I was really upset, I was uplifted and comforted with the little one in me.  

Finally, after a couple of online read-ups and forum-scanning, I decided to visit one of the gynaes located in Mt Alvernia - Dr Esther Ng Shwu Yong, EN Clinic for women.

She is extremely friendly and reassuring. 

And there I have the very first idea of what our lil one actually looks like, at about 6th to 7th week,  

the size of a pea at 0.69 cm.

 

It is sucha magical moment because this "pea" has a heartbeat! And a very loud one.

Truly as the bible says:

"Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you. Before you were born I set you apart."

Jeremiah 1:5

The next few weeks was yet another long wait because this is the most crucial time (I believe), the baby is forming and this IS the stage where you either make it or not.

"I must make it through the 1st 12 weeks"

I was counting down each and every single day, a even longer wait than the post-ovulation wait.

I even thought that I'd rather experience some really serious 1st trimester symptoms so as to be sure that the baby is growing well. I don't know where I got this warped idea from - but this is where I discovered my love for the lil one I have not even met - the love of a mother is very real, they would rather be the one in discomfort than to let their little ones come to any harm.

Finally, my appointment date arrived and at the 9th-10th week and this time, the scan showed a more precise form of our baby. In a short 3 weeks, my lil one has a developed defined head, body, arms and legs. 

And even though his/her arms and legs are so small, they were moving non-stop, punching and kicking up and down - he/she must've known we were watching!

The next appointment was 1 month later where we were scheduled for the 1st Trimester scanning test to test for low/high risk and a few other factors that I cannot remember.

Praise God the results came back VERY WELL.

Those 4 weeks of waiting was yet another long wait because I just couldn't help but want to see and know how my lil one is doing?

And this time round, the scan really gave me an awesome surprise. 

This is sucha beautiful image of him/her relaxing in my womb - and his/her arms and legs were just moving non-stop! The only time they stopped was when the doc needed to get the measurements done. I already love his/her playfulness!

I am well past the 12th week and heading towards the 14th week right now as I write this. 

My pregnancy has been a good one so far, no nauseating - only a fair amount of exhaustion, a lack of appetite and an extremely heightened sense of smell that makes ANY smell, smell. So I do get a bad headache because of it. 

Nevertheless, I am so thankful and in awe of God's divine protection and deliverance over this period of time and even moving forward, for what is to come. Without His faithfulness, we both wouldn't be enjoying this wonderful journey. It is our daily prayer to thank Him for everything His has done, sometimes, we don't even know how God has averted evil because He doesn't need to show us how, He is like the Father who loved us even before we came into form and delivers us without us even knowing. And we will continue to dedicate this baby into the hands of God, thanking Him for every moment, for His blessings, that this lil one is pure, walks well and be taught by none other that our Lord Himself, to know his/her purpose and the child of God.

I'd end right here with a beautiful video I have found online about the formation of a baby in the womb and what an amazing process this is - the very proof that God is the maker of life.

"All the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be."

Psalm 139:16

"Behold, children are a gift of the Lord; the gift of the womb is a reward."

Psalm 127:3