Run

I want to run, Out of sight,
Yet here I stay, In your delight...

Runaway from you,
To somewhere you cannot see
Runaway from me,
No more hopes to keep...

RUN, RUN, RUN ... I RUN
Even if I trip and fall,
Run from dusk to dawn
Even if there's no more strength to carry on...

Run away from hopeless faith,
Run away from joyful pain.
Run away from self-less gains,
Run away, just run....

I want to run, Out of sight,
Gone from desires, gone from light...

You & Me

Only when I sleep, am I awake.
Only when I dream do I live
I think of you till the dawn breaks.
Even if you are not someone I need.

In my heart, I draw you near to me.
In my head, I push you away.
Late at night, I feel you close to me.
Yet I am like a thief by the day.

You are a reality, yet a dream
Existent in my world yet nowhere to be seen
A lover, yet betrayer,
Loyal, faith-breaker…

What you have, you have given away,
What is left would be mine to take
I cannot submit to this fate.
I cannot accept being second best.

My mind….
Slapped dead to emotional woes.
Would I be better off?
If I was on my own.

The possibilities, driven with impossibilities
The dreams mixed with realities,
What is seen and yet unseen
How long will it be before I break free?

Come to me,
Leave me…

Hallucination

My mind…. Oh… My mind… spinning round and round,
Stop… stop this trance….. STOP it right now!!
No…. No…. I can’t! Everything’s turning upside down….
My mind…. Oh… My mind… I’m freaking out…

My thoughts…Oh… My thoughts… why are they running wild?
Please Mel… Please…. Stop it right now!!
I can… I can… Not all has been lost yet…
My thoughts… Oh… My thoughts… They will stop their pursuit now…

The voices… Can you hear the voices calling out loud?
They babble …. Blabbing on and on….Contradiction surrounds…
Shut it! Shut it! … I can’t stand the noises anymore!!
The voices…. The voices…. Silence is what I need now…

The darkness reigns, throughout my head… Hell arises…Where are the rays?
My light… Where’s my light? It’s such a dark sky….
Obscurity encloses me in, draining me dry…
I search…. I search…. I search… but I can’t find…

I’m lost, once again… Would that be forevermore?
My fears, they are building up to ram me down…
I cry! I shout! I throw my tantrums out!
But no one hears me, no one sees me, no one… All this while…

My eyes… See… See it clear… See its sparkle disappear…
Shadows lay beneath - like a ripple forming in the calm sea…
Someone… pull me out of this misery…
Help me… Help me… Help me…Please…. I plead…

Hallucinations…. I’m still a captive of it…..

Destruction

A RAGING FIRE I will set ablaze to destroy something residing inside,
It’s a FIRE that I’d FIGHT to keep alive.
A FIRE that will burn till I’ve achieved my goal of DESTRUCTION
A DESTRUCTION of something so UNWORTHY of my love.

In a world made up of superficiality.
I’d rather ruin them before they ruin me.
Nothing will stand as an obstruction in my itinerary,
In attaining this ultimate desire of total extermination.

Hey! What’s the great speech about immunity and being brawny?
Just a hoax due to insecurity?
No?
Of course no one would admit it.

It is not prejudice that caused this plight.I
t is an impaired mind – mulishly sticking to pride.
A wretched soul it shall be, withering back to the ground.
And there I will stand – laughing out loud.

Feeble-minded creature! Go live in meretricious ness!
Go lay in dismal, I couldn’t care less.
Profligate! Hurry, go waste life away!
Ostentate! Go make the way to fame!

Voice of my Heart

It breaks my heart thinking of you as someone I have grown so close to
When I have confided in you, so sincerely, and so true.
I’ve allowed myself to trust in you, and of course, to believe you,
And now, I’m hurt from these, yet I cannot bring myself to tell you.

Faith should come from within, when I do not see that something, yet believe,
Yet when I say I have faith, my heart seems to doubt what I say.
What’s that strength pulling me back in my head?
Mind over matter – I could hear it say.

Right from the start I have followed my mind; it was all that really mattered,
But could I be missing out to trust my heart in love matters?
When everything I had felt for someone special gets ruined,
I can only blame myself because I ruled out possibilities - in case I suffered

Then what exactly is love considered? If I dare not face it, let alone admit.
When a situation like this occurs, it’s because I’ve been living in self-deceit.
I’m often looked upon as someone strongly independent, sometimes, even heartless,
But I wish I could break down like anyone else and tell them “I feel so helpless”.

In everyway I portray to be stronger, yet in the same way I know I am just weaker.
Cannot turn away and behave normal, because I know I am so deeply affected
My refusal to give stops what I am able to receive,
Or could it be that my receipt has blinded me from giving?

I have so much inside I want you to know,
Yet what’s the deal if you really do?
There’s nothing left for me from the inside of you,
That’s why I’m hurting because I can see it too.

My Darkened Skies

Stubbornness is not a sin, it’s not a crime – it’s merely a choice,
Decisions are self-made choices, which can lead to major changes…
Wisdom does not generate overnight, so are wise choices…
Who can be the judge for a wrong choice, when there’s no direct definition of what’s right and what’s not?

Sadness is a spirit of fear and uncertainty, hoping to devour the weak-hearted.
Anger is a foothold to the devil; it cannot wait to seize you when you stumble.
Pain is an emotion causing hurt, threatening an individual who is too tired.
Frustration results when all else fails to work, and the solution is just too difficult.

Weak-hearted you are, alone fending yourself from fear and unhappiness?
Walking further and further – feels like you’re stumbling into darkness, as well as anger.
Worn out and tired, the tears flow like a river of unfeeling ness – an expression of your emotions.
And all actions you’ve taken were just a short fall from achieving your desire.

Why then remain stubborn?
To prove and show a sign of independence?
Why then allow hurt to swallow your soul?
Or is that something you do not already know?

Cry, when the hurt eats into you.
Shout, when frustration attacks you.
Then, pick yourself up from the sinking mud,
And crawl your way out and face the dark.

Throw your grievances into the face of darkness and turn away.
What can it really do to you? –When you’ve came this far today…
Something that you would need on the way,
Maybe it’s just pure faith that God will make a way one day….

Everything seems like a whirlwind of failure and destruction,
But please don’t fall into the devil’s trap of deception.
Your will is the empowerment of your fate and destination,
Press on, work a solution and you will not face disappointment.

From Dusk to Dawn

When the dawn breaks, I can feel my heartache.
What can I say, when I have really got nothing in my head.

Nothing? – is it a reality that there’s nothing there?
Or is it a just a fiction of my imagination because I have chose to shun away?

What has past, is a history - something I cannot change.
Yet it has changed my life – and the paths I plan to take.

I have grown so much stronger than before, is this real?
Or is it just something I choose to believe in because my mind is frail.

The hurt that I used to face and the tears I used to shed,
The innocent heart that used to beat, for the only one I believed in.

This was the me, the me who knew how to give.
Yet, this is the me who would only choose to receive.

I convince myself that nothing is too much to hurt,
Is that because I have gotten over it, or because I choose to live and deceive.

This mask, is a shield protecting me from too much emotions.
Yet, as it is, covers my true self away from all expressions.

Now when dusk falls, I can feel my heartache.
What can I do, when I first chose to walk away.