Saturday, 2 October 2010

Don't depend on others to be happy

Once upon a time, long time ago... i was in a situation where i get extremely happy when someone pays me a compliment and to that same degree, i get extremely sad when someone judges me and tells me something less postitive about myself.

This is called being insecure.

I was dependent on what others thought of me.

Because of that, i wanted the approval and recognition of others. I relied on what people say to give me "happiness" and in so doing i lived my life thinking how people will look at me, say about me etc...

I became really exhausted trying to live my life as though i had to please everyone.

That was not living at all, cause all i had in me is merely one goal - to please.

The light bulb came on for me one day 2,000 years agao, that i AM actually playing the lead characterof my OWN life.

So i should be LEADING my life, MY way.

Who cares what people say or think?

Are they that significant or important in your life?

Usually, people who only have bad things to say are somehow unimportant people who usually talk bad about everything under the sun and 2 days later, they would have forgotten all about you and moved on talking about someone else.

These are what you call worthless opinions.

You cannot control what someone says, but you can control how you think.

You do have a choice.

1. To choose to brood over it and be upset; OR
2. To choose ignore the negatives and to believe in yourself; OR
3. To choose to assess that opinion/action, take whatever valid in it and change for the better

Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, but the reality is, no one is subject to everyone's opinion.

Being hurt, upset, angry, disasppointed is all but a choice... Your emotions are not "enforced" on you. They are all part of you and can be managed and controlled by you.

Once upon a time, someone told me something so profound that i still remember it till today...

He said
"You sometimes react as if you have no control over your emotions and let what you can control, control you."

This really changed my mindset about my bad temper.

I hate it when i have no control over myself when i obviously knew i had.

Why did i have to let something control me when i have the power to control it in the first place?

So whenever you feel angry at someone for making you upset...

Think first.

Was it he/she who made you upset? Or is it just you choosing to get upset?

At the end of the day - you are uniquely you and nobody else can be EXACTLY like you.

You are the only barrier to being happy... because there is always a choice.

Whenever you are in a situation where "so-and-so did this/did not do this, so i am upset!" just remember that you have a choice. If so-and-so wants to and chooses to do what he/she does... let them be. You can choose not to be affected by them cause you are the lead performer on your own stage called "life".

Insecure women tend to fall prey to men who sweet-talk because they "feed" on those "sweet-talk" and like hearing them. Once they stop receiving those "sweet talk", they do all they can to "earn" it and usually, it has diastrous endings!

(Next time you hear someone "sweet-talking" you; Think. Did you take it seriously? Were you overjoyed with it? If you are, then could it be that you are tipping over soon?)

On the same note, "sweet-talkers" are you doing it to gain approval as well. Because one only starts "sweet-talking" when they want to please another... It displays nothing but insecurity and insincerity...

So, don't depend on others to be happy. Just be happy. Truly.

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