Thursday, 28 October 2004


My mind…. Oh… My mind… spinning round and round,
Stop… stop this trance….. STOP it right now!!
No…. No…. I can’t! Everything’s turning upside down….
My mind…. Oh… My mind… I’m freaking out…

My thoughts…Oh… My thoughts… why are they running wild?
Please Mel… Please…. Stop it right now!!
I can… I can… Not all has been lost yet…
My thoughts… Oh… My thoughts… They will stop their pursuit now…

The voices… Can you hear the voices calling out loud?
They babble …. Blabbing on and on….Contradiction surrounds…
Shut it! Shut it! … I can’t stand the noises anymore!!
The voices…. The voices…. Silence is what I need now…

The darkness reigns, throughout my head… Hell arises…Where are the rays?
My light… Where’s my light? It’s such a dark sky….
Obscurity encloses me in, draining me dry…
I search…. I search…. I search… but I can’t find…

I’m lost, once again… Would that be forevermore?
My fears, they are building up to ram me down…
I cry! I shout! I throw my tantrums out!
But no one hears me, no one sees me, no one… All this while…

My eyes… See… See it clear… See its sparkle disappear…
Shadows lay beneath - like a ripple forming in the calm sea…
Someone… pull me out of this misery…
Help me… Help me… Help me…Please…. I plead…

Hallucinations…. I’m still a captive of it…..

Tuesday, 26 October 2004


A RAGING FIRE I will set ablaze to destroy something residing inside,
It’s a FIRE that I’d FIGHT to keep alive.
A FIRE that will burn till I’ve achieved my goal of DESTRUCTION
A DESTRUCTION of something so UNWORTHY of my love.

In a world made up of superficiality.
I’d rather ruin them before they ruin me.
Nothing will stand as an obstruction in my itinerary,
In attaining this ultimate desire of total extermination.

Hey! What’s the great speech about immunity and being brawny?
Just a hoax due to insecurity?
Of course no one would admit it.

It is not prejudice that caused this plight.I
t is an impaired mind – mulishly sticking to pride.
A wretched soul it shall be, withering back to the ground.
And there I will stand – laughing out loud.

Feeble-minded creature! Go live in meretricious ness!
Go lay in dismal, I couldn’t care less.
Profligate! Hurry, go waste life away!
Ostentate! Go make the way to fame!

Voice of my Heart

It breaks my heart thinking of you as someone I have grown so close to
When I have confided in you, so sincerely, and so true.
I’ve allowed myself to trust in you, and of course, to believe you,
And now, I’m hurt from these, yet I cannot bring myself to tell you.

Faith should come from within, when I do not see that something, yet believe,
Yet when I say I have faith, my heart seems to doubt what I say.
What’s that strength pulling me back in my head?
Mind over matter – I could hear it say.

Right from the start I have followed my mind; it was all that really mattered,
But could I be missing out to trust my heart in love matters?
When everything I had felt for someone special gets ruined,
I can only blame myself because I ruled out possibilities - in case I suffered

Then what exactly is love considered? If I dare not face it, let alone admit.
When a situation like this occurs, it’s because I’ve been living in self-deceit.
I’m often looked upon as someone strongly independent, sometimes, even heartless,
But I wish I could break down like anyone else and tell them “I feel so helpless”.

In everyway I portray to be stronger, yet in the same way I know I am just weaker.
Cannot turn away and behave normal, because I know I am so deeply affected
My refusal to give stops what I am able to receive,
Or could it be that my receipt has blinded me from giving?

I have so much inside I want you to know,
Yet what’s the deal if you really do?
There’s nothing left for me from the inside of you,
That’s why I’m hurting because I can see it too.